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Showing posts from August, 2017

To Hear One More Laugh

Find me now atLucid Renewal
We buried my grandmother in July. The photo above is my last of her. I took it to show family members who needed to know she was feeling better on this particular day. These final weeks were spent in the hospital — well over a month of needles and meds and ups and downs. On this day, I happened to be up on the 3rd floor with her, and so my dad, ever her companion, took the chance to stretch his legs. On his return, he brought back coffee for each of us. Meema was so happy about it; nonetheless, I didn't put this photo in her slide show at the funeral. When someone has suffered a chronic illness like congenital heart disease, you don't want to show them at their worst. Now, after over a month, I don't know if it is her at her worst. Perhaps it is her best. The pain and the discomfort at the end made her so mad, and sometimes not like her usual self, but in this photo, her hair may be sticking out a bit, but I can see the beginnings of a smile as…

In Praise of Noses on Screen Doors

Find me now atLucid Renewal
When a smell of freshly turned earth or the fiddle in an 80s country song plays on the radio, I sometimes travel back to long drives with my mom and sister. Across highways and sailing past cotton fields and mesquite trees, I remember distant storms and in my ears, an Alabama tune plays, “Sometimes her morning coffee’s way too strong, and sometimes what she says, she says all wrong.”

I spent hours on these trips simply staring out the window. I used my time to think and create stories, a whole helluva lot of them. They were never written down.  The same thing happened at bedtime as I lay awake waiting for sleep to overtake me. Boredom did not scare me. What looked like idleness from afar was my mind burning through dreamt up novels, screenplays, bits of essays. I remember being initially aghast when I heard the old saying, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Doing nothing on the outside meant stories on the inside.

I understand the fear of loafing more n…